November 2009

There were many days when I thought the first book might not ever happen. Now, that it’s here, I find myself wanting to write the next one, but better, stronger, with less apprehension. I’m just realizing that the people that I held back for are no longer alive.

My grandmother, Charmaine Betts, worked every weekend in my grandparents’ tavern on Harrison Avenue when I was small, and often took me home with her after closing. She taught me how to shell peas, shuck corn, and clean greens. She always had cans of mandarin oranges and wheat bread stocked in the kitchen so I could make my own breakfast. I loved her burgundy Buick Regal and playing in her closets stocked with clothes and shoes in every color you could imagine. She was funny at times and a sharp-tongued gossip. I was too young to realize it then, but I realize that I inherited some of my venom from her. She passed away after a long battle with the aftermath of a stroke in April 2005.

Her brother, my great uncle Dr. Lem D. Callahan, passed away almost one month to the day after my grandmother. I still believe he was holding on to make sure she would be okay. He had arranged for a home attendant to take care of her needs until she passed in a hospital bed in her own home.

Months before all this, in September 2008, I was wondering why I hadn’t heard from my Uncle L.D. I was so excited about my upcoming debut on HBO’s “Def Poetry Jam” episode airing. I had graduated from college and was pursuing my MFA in creative writing, but I knew this was something that he would be proud of. If any single member of my family understood, what this opportunity would mean to me, it was Uncle L.D. I sent him one of the postcards announcing that the show would be airing soon, and that I’d be performing at the Arie Crown Theater in Chicago, a theater that I heard mentioned on the radio throughout my teen years growing up in Kankakee. Days after the postcard should have arrived, no response.

I called my brother to see what was going on. Then Marcel told me. Uncle L.D. had been hospitalized for a stroke as well. He lived alone so he was on the floor of his home for 3 days before someone discovered what had happened. No one had called to tell me. I did go to visit him as soon as I learned this.

He was still intact, able to speak, smile, make jokes, and run through his various, unending to-do lists. (I am told that I get this from him as well.) I brought him his last Thanksgiving meal: turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole from my mother’s kitchen. He ate every bit of it, even though he wasn’t supposed to have pepper. We had a few more conversations in the months before his death, but no one was as understanding of school or my goal to be a writer as he was. He was one of two family members who had worked his way through college to become Dr. Callahan. My other college-bound relative was my cousin Heidi, who lived with us for a short time, earned her bachelor’s degree, then a master’s degree. She now teaches middle school in Kankakee.

I never wanted to hurt their feelings, embarrass them, or air family secrets. I’ve kept the door closed on so many things that kept me angry, embarrassed, and even depressed. Over the past few months, I’ve been reading a range of memoir titles and thinking of the kids who grew up in circumstances similar to mine. Now, I’m feeling that I might be a little bit free to talk about these two elders who offered me kindness, love, guidance, and encouragement in their own ways, but also to unpack the ugly I’m unwilling to carry, the kinds that many of try to tamp down into our bones and pretend they don’t happen. There is a time to bear witness and put burdens down.

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I have been getting these tweets on twitter saying that search engines are not necessarily registering authors of color in searches. I know Collin Kelley has been keeping a list of poets of all kinds on his blog, but I figured I’d take somewhat of a cue from SheWrites, and share a list of authors of color that I know on Twitter.

I am fully aware that this list may be skewed toward poets and black authors, but I want to diversify this list to include all genres and cultural groups, so I plan to update it. Here’s a starter list. Please comment with any other people that might not be included.

Opal Palmer Adisa, author of I Name Me Name, Eros Muse, Caribbean Passion & others @OpalPalmerAdisa
Samiya Bashir, author of When the Apple Falls and Gospel @scryptkeeper
Remica L. Bingham, author of Conversion @remicabingham
Carleen Brice, Orange Mint and Honey, Children of the Waters and Lead Me Home @carleenbrice
Sharon Bridgforth, author of Love Conjure/Blues and The Bull-Jean Stories @SBridgforth
Antoinette Brim, author of Psalm of the Sunflower @AntoinetteBrim
Lorna Dee Cervantes, author of Drive, Enplumada and From the Cables of Genocide @LornaDeeCe
Jeff Chang, author of Can’t Stop Won’t Stop: A History of the Hip-Hop Generation and editor of Total Chaos @zentronix
Ching-In Chen, author of The Heart’s Traffic @chinginchen
Farai Chideya, author of Kiss the Sky and Don’t Believe the Hype @faraichideya
Staceyann Chin, author of The Other Side of Paradise, @staceyannchin
Meri Nana-Ama Danquah, author of Willow Weep for Me and editor of The Black Body, Shaking the Tree, and Becoming American @DanquahDiva
Oliver de la Paz, author of Furious Lullaby, Names Above Houses and the upcoming Requiem for the Orchard @Oliver_delaPaz
Virginia DeBerry and Donna Grant, co-authors of Trying to Sleep in the Bed You Made @deberryandgrant
Chitra Divakaruni, author of Sistter of My Hear, Mistress of Spices, The Palace of Ilusions and Black Candle @chitradivakarun
Mitchell L.H. Douglas, author of Cooling Board: A Long Playing Poem @MLHDouglas
Heidi Durrow, author of The Girl Who Fell from the Sky @hdurrow
Cherryl Floyd-Miller, author of Exquisite Heats, Settling Sophia, Utterance: A Museology of Kin @Cherryl
LiseFunderburg, author of Pig Candy @LiseFunderburg
Nelson George, author of City Kid, Hip Hop America and The Death of Rhythm & Blues and others @nelsongeorge
Brian Gilmore, author of Jungle Nights and Soda Fountain Rags and Elvis Presley Is Alive and Well and Living in Harlem @bumpyjonas
Sandra Guzman, author of The Latina’s Bible: The Nueva Latina Guide to Love, Sex, Spirituality, and La Vida @mellowmami
Duriel Harris, author of Drag @DrPoMo
Reggie Harris, author of Ten Tongues, @rmharris
Melissa Harris-Lacewell, author of Barbershops, Bibles, and BET: Everyday Talk and Black Political Thought @harrislacewell
Lee Herrick, author of This Many Miles from Desire @leeherrick
Marc Lamont Hill, author of Beats, Rhymes, and Classroom Life: Hip Hop Pedagogy and the Politics of Identity @marclamonthill
Akua Lezli Hope, author of Embouchureand other poetry collections @akualezli
Randall Horton, author of The Lingua France of Ninth Street and The Definition of Place @Hook1016
Luisa A. Igloria, author of Juan Luna’s Revolver and Trill & Mordent @ThePoetsLizard
Kenji Jasper, author of Snow, Dark, Cake and The House on Childress Street @youngjasper
Honoree Jeffers, author of The Gospel of Barbecue, Outlandish Blues and Red Clay Suite @HonoreeJeffers
Mat Johnson, author of Drop, Incognegro, Hunting In Harlem, Papa Midnite, and the upcoming Dark Rain @mat_johnson
Tayari Jones, author of Leaving Atlanta and The Untelling @tayari
Allison Joseph, author of Voice, Imitation of Life, In Every Seam and others @allisonjoseph
Nwenna Kai, author of the cookbook The Goddess of Raw Foods @nwennakai
John Keene, author of Annotations @jstheater
Ruth Ellen Kocher, author of One Girl Babylon and When the Moon Knows You’re Wandering @ruthellenkocher
Ana-Maurine Lara, author of Erzulie’s Skirt @zorashorse
Raina Leon, author of Canticle of Idols @rainaleon
Ada Limon, author of Lucky Wreck and This Big Fake World @adalimon
Dawn Lundy Martin, author of A Gathering of Matter/A Matter of Gathering @dawnlundy
Aaron McGruder, author of All the Rage, Birth of a Nation, A Right to Be Hostile, Boondocks: Because I Know You Don’t Read The Newspapers @aaronmcgruder
Indigo Moor, author of Taproot and Through the Stonecutter’s Window @indigomoor
Jessica Care Moore, author of The Words Don’t Fit In My Mouth, The Alphabet Verses: The Ghetto, and God Is Not an American @JessicaCareMoor
Urayoan Noel, author of Kool Logic and Borinquen, @urayoannoel
Ben Okri, author of The Famished Road, other novels and African Elegy @benokri
January O’Neill, author of Underlife @januaryoneil
Gregory Pardlo, author of Totem @pardlo
Nii Ayikwei Parkes, U.K.-based author of The Tail of the Bluebird and The Makings of You @BlueBirdTail
Felecia Pride, author of The Message: 100 Life Lessons from Hip Hop’s Greatest Songs, Patterson Heights, and YA novels @feliciapride
Barbara Jane Reyes, author of Poeta En San Francisco and the upcoming Diwata @bjanepr
Roger Robinson, U.K.-based author of The Red Suitcase and Suckle @rrobinson72
Luis Rodriguez, author of Always Running, Music of the Mill, América is Her Name, My Nature Is Hunger and others @luisjrodriguez
Patrick Rosal, author of Uprock, Headspin, Scramble and Dive and My American Kundiman @patrickrosal
Tavis Smiley, author of Keeping the Faith, What I Know For Sure and others @TavisSmiley
Danyel Smith, author of More Like Wrestling and Bliss @danamo and @danyelsmith
Bryant Terry, author of Vegan Soul Kitchen and Grub: Ideas for an Urban Organic Kitchen @bryantterry
Lance Tooks, author of Narcissa: A Graphic Novel and Lucifer’s Garden of Verses @lancetooks
Toure, author of Never Drank the Kool-Aid, Soul City, The Portable Promised Land @ToureX
Rebecca Walker, author of Black, White, & Jewish and Baby Love @rebeccawalker
Michael Warr, author of We Are All the Black Boy @warrzone
Afaa M. Weaver, author of Multitudes and The Plum Flower Dance and others @Afaa_M_Weaver
Colson Whitehead, author of The Intuitionist, Sag Harbor, John Henry Days @colsonwhitehead
Crystal Wilkinson, author of Water Street and Blackberries, Blackberries @CrystalWilki
Karen S. Williams, author of Elegy of a Scarred Shoulder @KSWPOETRYDOTCOM
Saul Williams, author of The Seventh Octave, She, and The Dead Emcee Scrolls @SaulWilliams

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